Everyone needs a coach

The Holy Well at Holywell Bay

Coaches LOVE to talk about questions. After all, it’s a key part of what we do. Isn’t coaching all about the thinker bringing a question, and the coach asking questions about the question, until a resolution or way forward is found? Yes, sometimes. And there are also occasions when coaches ask questions that dive into a deeper place, and lead to even more questions that need to be held in the space after the coaching session. Sometimes questions to work through, sometimes questions that need to be carried tenderly and carefully for a long while, letting the unconscious mind do its work.

For me those are the sort of questions that are often the transformational - and that is why, as I coach I have a coach. They can ask the questions I might wriggle away from, and that keep me thinking, growing and moving forward personally and professionally. We all need a coach!

In today's fast-paced world, where we are juggling multiple responsibilities and often feel time-short and swept along by the tide, the value of having a coach is enormous. A coach is more than a mentor or advisor; they are a dedicated traveller in your personal and professional growth. Whether you're striving to achieve specific goals, overcome obstacles, set boundaries, seeking clarity in your life, or a better work-life balance, a coach provides the guidance, support, and accountability needed to help you reach your full potential. But beyond the tangible outcomes, one of the most profound benefits of working with a coach is the opportunity to engage with deep, meaningful questions that can transform the way you see yourself and your world.

Deep, searching questions are the heart of transformational coaching. They are the questions that challenge you to think differently, to go beyond surface-level answers, and to explore the core of who you are and what you truly want. These questions dive into your values, beliefs, and longings. By engaging with these questions, you begin to uncover the unconscious patterns that may be holding you back and gain insights that can lead to profound change.

A coach helps you navigate this process, creating a safe space for exploration and reflection. The value of deep questions often lies not in the answers themselves, but in the journey they take you on - a journey of self-discovery, growth, and a sea-change that can have a lasting impact on every aspect of your life.

In a world that often emphasises speed and efficiency, the slow, thoughtful process of engaging with deep questions through coaching offers a refreshing counterbalance. Coaching someone this morning, who arrived feeling time-pressured, they expressed how much they valued carving time out for our session, and concluded our session feeling less ‘chaotic’ in their outlook and more energised having formulated the necessary steps for a calmer and more balanced life, in all it’s aspects. Coaching empowers you to not only achieve your goals but also to understand why those goals matter to you. It helps you align your actions with your true self, leading to a more authentic and fulfilling life. Everyone can benefit from this kind of introspective work, making coaching not just a luxury, but an essential investment in your personal and professional development.

I have long believed that poetry comes from and flows to the very depths of our being, and while I don’t consider myself a poet, sometimes writing poetry or journalling reveals things to me that conversation alone cannot, or as David Whyte, renowned poet, philosopher and author says in his conversation with Krista Tippett, the ‘deeper discipline of poetry is overhearing yourself say things you did’t want to know about the world’. He also says that the first step in writing poetry is to stop ‘stop the surface conversation you’re having now, the peripheral conversation where you’re in competition where you feel besieged, where you feel fragmented and drop down to a central image or tonality in the body or in your understanding that can hold a whole constellation of individual qualities together that circulate around you at the edge of your ordinary everyday life … stopping in order to drink from a deeper well in order to come down onto ground which leads you into a new place.’

It is this stopping of the surface conversation and drinking from a deeper well that is so transformational; a beautiful co-created coaching conversation also leads the thinker into a new place. How awesome is that?

David Whyte is celebrated for his ability to weave words into deeply moving reflections on the human experience. His concept of ‘beautiful questions’ is particularly powerful, offering a way to engage with life that is both profound and transformative. These are not questions that seek immediate answers but rather invite us to explore the deeper layers of our existence. They call us to examine the choices we make, the relationships we nurture, and the paths we follow. Whyte’s beautiful questions challenge us to look beyond the surface, urging us to engage with the uncertainties and mysteries of life with curiosity and openness. In doing so, we begin a dialogue with our inner selves, uncovering truths that might otherwise remain hidden.

And sometimes, for a period, we need to live with the ambiguity and create space for our intuition. As Rilke wrote in his Letters to a Young Poet in 1093, ‘Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.’.

The power of poetry, as David Whyte shows, lies in its ability to tap into the unconscious mind, revealing insights that often elude our everyday thinking. Poetry invites us into a conversation that transcends the ordinary, allowing us to explore emotions, dreams, and desires that we may not yet understand or be able to fully articulate. Through metaphor, rhythm, and imagery, poetry opens doors to the unconscious, enabling us to engage in the deep, meaningful conversations that are essential for personal growth and transformation.

The same is true for coaching conversations, which are so valuable in a world that often prioritises the quick fix and surface-level interactions. By embracing the beauty and power of poetic inquiry, and drinking from the deep well offered by a coaching conversation, we can cultivate a richer, more reflective approach to life - one that truly honours the complexities of the human soul and the mysteries of the world around us.

I wrote the poem below shortly after a session with my coach, during which we playfully explored the well at Holywell Bay. Emergent, reflective, and intuitive, it was illustrative of our deep-well of conversation and the result of beautiful questions.

If you would like to explore coaching with me, you can book space in my diary here. Let’s create a beautiful journey for you.

Ripples strong underfoot,
feeling grounded, a safe place
from which to play,
to explore
barefoot, vulnerable,
yet without fear.

Still water disturbed
encourages gentle flow
- from head-height
to depths newly known -
and onwards.

Sensing
and gladly welcoming
each salty drop,
refreshing, renewing,
lasting impression made.

An ore -
some golden glow
amidst the pink
bright stars, reflecting light.

Connections made in a sacred space,
where presence held,
- woven with threads of breath
and compassion -
transforms.